By Jody Bruns

In the world of divorce, real estate, and financial uncertainty, one simple truth rises above the rest:
How you show up changes everything.

We often hear advice like “just keep showing up.” But when you're navigating divorce—either personally or professionally—that kind of passive presence isn’t enough. Because showing up isn’t just about being there. It’s about being intentional, strategic, and purpose-driven in the moments that matter most.

Whether you're a divorcing homeowner trying to protect your future, or a family law professional guiding clients through one of the most complex transitions of their lives, purpose is what turns confusion into clarity. It’s the difference between surviving and truly rebuilding.

Why Showing Up with Purpose Matters in Divorce

Divorce isn’t just a legal event—it’s a financial, emotional, and logistical transformation. And in that storm of change, too many decisions are made in survival mode. Decisions about the home. The mortgage. The budget. Parenting. Retirement. Decisions that carry long-term consequences, but are often made under short-term stress.

Here’s the truth:
You don’t get a second chance at getting divorce right.

That’s why showing up with purpose is essential. It’s not about knowing everything. It’s about choosing to be intentional—to make every decision, every conversation, every plan count.

For Divorcing Homeowners: Purpose Leads to Financial Clarity

As someone who has worked with thousands of divorcing individuals, I’ve seen just how quickly confusion and fear can cloud good judgment. One spouse wants to keep the home, the other wants to sell. No one fully understands how the mortgage will work after divorce. And all too often, decisions are made without a clear understanding of how the settlement will affect long-term housing stability.

But here’s what showing up with purpose looks like:

• Asking the right questions early: Can I truly afford to stay in the home? What are my options for refinancing? How will support income or asset division affect my ability to qualify for a mortgage?

• Working with the right professionals: Not every loan officer understands the nuances of divorce. Not every financial advisor understands mortgage guidelines. You need a team that specializes in divorce mortgage planning—strategic advisors who can guide you toward the right path, not just the easiest one.

• Thinking beyond today: Showing up with purpose means considering where you want to be 6 months from now… 6 years from now. It means making decisions that support long-term security, not short-term relief.

This is where divorce mortgage planning becomes essential. A Certified Divorce Lending Professional® (CDLP®) doesn’t just help you qualify for a loan—they help you evaluate every option, identify risks, and make empowered decisions about your home and your future.

For Family Law Professionals: Purpose Elevates Your Practice

If you’re an attorney, mediator, or financial neutral, you understand how high the stakes are in every case you touch. You advocate for fair settlements, protect your clients’ rights, and help them navigate emotionally charged decisions every day.

But even the most experienced professionals can miss the deeper financial impact of certain settlement terms.

A spousal support structure that disqualifies a client from refinancing.
A lump sum payout that can’t be counted as qualifying income.
An equity division that creates an unexpected cash shortfall.

These aren’t just financial details—they’re dealbreakers that can unravel everything you’ve worked to negotiate.

Showing up with purpose means:

• Asking deeper questions about the home and the mortgage strategy before finalizing the settlement.

• Collaborating early with professionals like CDLP®s who understand how to bridge legal intent with lending reality.

• Prioritizing long-term feasibility, not just short-term agreement.

Family law is about more than filing paperwork. It’s about guiding people through one of the most life-altering events they’ll ever face. When you show up with strategy and purpose, you don’t just represent your client—you protect their future.

The Ripple Effect of Purpose

One of the biggest misconceptions in divorce is that the process ends when the documents are signed. In reality, that’s just the beginning.

What happens after the divorce—when it’s time to refinance the mortgage, secure new housing, rebuild credit, or reestablish financial footing—is where the real recovery happens. And whether or not that transition is successful depends on the decisions made during the divorce process.

Purposeful decisions create long-term peace.
Rushed decisions create long-term regret.

When you show up with purpose, you’re not just helping someone “get through it.” You’re helping them move forward—with clarity, confidence, and dignity.

There’s No Staying in Neutral Gear During Divorce

In divorce, not making a decision is still a decision—and often, it’s the most damaging one.

You can’t afford to stay in “neutral gear” and hope everything works itself out. Whether you’re the one going through divorce or the one guiding others, you’re either actively creating clarity—or unintentionally allowing confusion to take the lead.

This doesn’t mean you can’t be a neutral party in a professional sense (especially in mediation or financial neutrality)—but it does mean you can’t afford to be passive. Divorce requires proactive, informed, and strategic decisions. Sitting idle isn’t neutral—it’s risky.

Purpose means stepping in with direction, intention, and an eye on what happens next.

The Standard I Hold—for Myself and This Profession

As the creator of the Certified Divorce Lending Professional® (CDLP®) certification and founder of the Divorce Lending Association, I didn’t build this platform to help people close more loans. I built it to help people lead with more clarity.

This isn’t just about mortgages. It’s about people. It’s about stability. And it’s about ensuring that the professionals involved in divorce cases—especially those advising on the home—are equipped to provide real, strategic value.

Because when we show up with purpose, we don’t just manage transactions.
We influence transformations.

Final Thought: Lead With Purpose—Always

Whether you’re the one facing divorce or the one supporting a client through it, how you show up matters. It’s not about perfection—it’s about presence. Not just being there, but being intentional. Strategic. Purpose-driven.

So the next time you face a decision, a conversation, or a crossroad, ask yourself:

• Am I showing up just to get through it… or to do it right?

• Am I reacting… or responding with clarity?

• Am I coasting in neutral… or moving forward with purpose?

Because purpose isn’t a personality trait. It’s a decision.

And it’s a powerful one.

🔗 Want more clarity in the divorce process?

Whether you’re navigating divorce yourself or serving clients who are, I share insights, tools, and real conversations to help you show up with purpose.

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📘 Learn more about the CDLP® certification at DivorceLendingAssociation.com