by Jody Bruns

For many women, the house represents more than just a piece of property—it’s their anchor. It holds memories, traditions, stability for the kids, and a sense of security in a time when so much feels uncertain.

So, when divorce enters the picture, the instinct to keep the home can be strong. And understandably so.

But before you agree to “just keep the house,” there’s one truth you must understand:

Equity isn’t cash.

It might look like a financial win on paper, but that equity doesn’t pay your bills, qualify you for a mortgage, or sustain you in a transition. And far too often, women walk away from a divorce with the house—but without the financial clarity or strategy they need to actually keep it.

Let’s talk about why this decision deserves deeper consideration.

Equity Sounds Like a Gift—But It Comes with Strings

Equity is the difference between what your house is worth and what you owe on it. If your home is worth $400,000 and you owe $250,000, then yes—you have $150,000 in equity.

But unless that house is sold or refinanced, that equity is trapped. It’s not liquid. It can’t help with groceries, medical bills, tuition, or retirement planning. And if you’re awarded the house in the divorce but can’t refinance the loan into your name, that equity can become a financial burden—not a blessing.

Qualifying to Keep the House Isn’t Just About Who Gets It in the Divorce

Even if your divorce settlement says you get the house, your lender has the final say in whether you can qualify to keep it.

Many women assume that because they’re awarded the home, they automatically qualify for the mortgage. That’s not true. Mortgage lenders have to evaluate your income, debt, credit, and overall financial stability to determine whether they can refinance the mortgage into your name.

If your income has changed, or you relied on your spouse’s income, that qualification can become difficult—especially if your divorce settlement didn’t account for how mortgage guidelines interpret support income or other financial shifts.

Don’t Let an Emotional Decision Become a Financial Mistake

I say this often because I’ve seen it too many times: the wrong house can keep you financially stuck for years.

If you’re house-rich but cash-poor, it can affect everything:

• Your ability to retire with confidence

• Your freedom to move or start fresh

• Your capacity to handle emergencies or new opportunities

Keeping the home might feel like the strong, stable choice—but true strength is found in making decisions that protect your future, not just your comfort in the moment.

There’s Another Way—A Strategic One

I want you to know this: You’re not a failure if you choose not to keep the house. You’re not weak. You’re wise.

Sometimes, the best move is to sell and split the equity. Other times, a refinance with a strategic equity buyout is possible—but only if it’s structured properly, with your income, timelines, and long-term goals in mind.

This is why divorce mortgage planning matters so much. It’s not about closing loans—it’s about helping you see the whole picture, so you can make informed, confident choices.

Faith, Wisdom, and a Future You Can Build On

As a woman of faith, I know how painful it can be to let go of something you thought you’d keep forever. But I also believe that God can rebuild anything—even your finances, even your home, even your life.

Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”

So let’s build wisely.

Don’t rush to hold onto something just because it feels familiar. Ask the right questions. Get expert guidance. And choose the path that offers peace—not just emotionally, but financially and spiritually, too.

Your Next Level Starts Here

If you’re in the middle of your divorce or just beginning to untangle the housing questions, take a breath. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Inside Next Level You with Jody Bruns, my private membership for women navigating divorce, we talk about exactly these kinds of decisions. From mortgage options and equity buyouts to budgeting and rebuilding with faith, I’ll help you walk through this with clarity, strategy, and strength.

Because you deserve more than just the house.
You deserve a future that feels like home again.

Ready to take the next step with clarity and confidence?

Join me inside Next Level You—where we turn fear into strategy and overwhelm into action. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

For daily insight, encouragement, and real-talk divorce strategy, follow me on Instagram at @thedivorcemortgageexpert and on TikTok at @jodybrunsofficial . Let’s rebuild stronger—together.